What Makes For a Bad Step Parent

It is no secret that some step parents face being branded wicked and intolerable – whilst some of these accusations are false, there are however some situations where a step parent displays actions and behaviours that are totally wrong. This would therefore justifiably make them a bad step parent.

The step parent may never be the fan of the step children, but at the same time, attempts should be made on the part of the step parent to try to live amicably with the children of their spouse.

So what makes for a bad step parent?

Talking negatively about the other parent
As a step parent, you may have walked into the life of your spouse with background information of what their ex did. Yes, they may have behaved wrongly and broken the heart of your spouse or even abandoned the children. What is wrong for you as a step parent is to now talk about what the birth parent did in front of the children and make a big scene about it.

Whether your step children know about the event that led to the split between their parents or not is not really for you to talk about in front of them.

Bad mouthing the birth parent will never get you in the good books of the children and is a sign of immaturity on your part.

Not taking the time to get to know your step children
In order to form a good relationship, it is important to get to know the children. This, as in any other type of relationship would always take time and some effort on your part.

If you don’t make a conscious decision to get to know your step children, then you will not understand each other and the family unit runs the risk of never becoming stable and happy.

A bad step parent will not get to know the step children because they feel that the relationship is between the two adults in the family, but this is far from the truth. Not even attempting to get to know the children is an act of selfishness.

Disciplining your step children
Whilst it is important for all children step or not to be disciplined when the need arises, it is particularly important to leave this for the birth parent to do especially in the early stages of your relationship.

The way a step child would react to discipline from you would be different from their biological parent and in most cases could potentially cause problems for you and your spouse if you decide to discipline your step child. It is always better to leave this to your spouse and discuss any matters that you feel has to be dealt with by them.

The decision to discipline your step children should be discussed between you and your spouse – the age of the children would also determine if you would be in a place to discipline them.

Insisting that your step children call you Mom or Dad
This is an absolute no, no! It is not for you to dictate to your step children to call you mom or dad. If you have been involved in their lives for a long time, they may decide to call you mom or dad, but even then, if they don’t it is not for you to decide that it is about time they call you that.

In some step parenting homes, the step child will call the step parent mom or dad after they have developed a bond and in some cases if their other birth parent is no longer a large part of their lives.

Your step children not calling you mom or dad does not mean that they will not love you or treat you with respect. The only time it almost comes naturally from a step child is if they are too young to remember their birth parent and almost automatically just start calling you their parent.

Preferential Treatment to Your Own Children
If as a step parent, you are offering preferential treatment to your own children to the detriment of your step children, they may never trust or accept you in their lives. Yes, you love your own biological children and want the best for them – now that you are in a new environment with your spouse and his/her children, it is up to you to treat all the children alike.

If you treat all the children in the family the same way, this will help create a stable unit. Sometimes, even when you are not aware, your step children may be watching your every action to see whether you are treating them the same way as you treat your own children. This may never be outwardly acknowledged or appreciated by them, but be sure that if they pick up any preferential treatment, they will be quick to voice it out.

These are just some examples of bad step parenting.

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Home Improvement Tips

Whether you are planning to put your home on the market or make it more comfortable to live in, there is a lot to be gained from making home improvements.

Improvements in your home could involve:

– Repairs of already existing structures,

– Remodeling certain parts of the home to give them a facelift,

– Making additions to your home to improve quality of life,

– Home improvement projects in order to make a house more energy efficient or environment-friendly.

To decide on a home improvement project can seem pretty daunting. But armed with a few handy home improvement tips, you could be well on your way to the ideal home of your dreams. Most of these tips are easy to follow and will make deciding on home improvement projects a breeze for you.

– Before deciding on a home improvement project, you have to decide exactly why you think your home needs it, how much you should be spending on it, and what is the result you would be satisfied with.

– The first home improvements you should consider are repair moves. Attend to any ceiling repair problems, the plumbing job you have been putting off or that attic insulation that has become necessary. This holds true whether you are planning to live in the home yourself, put it on rent, or put the home on sale.

– Remodeling your kitchen or bathroom is a smart home improvement move if you are planning to put your home on sale. This increases the value of the home immediately, and if researched properly, can be done with very little investment.

– Home improvement projects that involve remodeling need to be well thought out, so that they do not look out of place in the house. They are usually done to improve lighting, provide more space or glamorize the home. Remodeling a home can also mean an improvement in the atmosphere. For instance, if a kitchen wall is broken down to create an open kitchen, it immediately makes the home more friendly and sociable.

– Making additions to a home like adding a deck, a pool, or an outdoor storage area are usually the result of what the family needs, but could also be excellent selling points if the home goes up for sale some day. Additions to the home should be considered as home improvement projects if there is extra outdoor space which by itself does not improve the value of the home. A good tip for an improvement in the exterior spaces of the home is also to consider the neighborhood and only make changes and additions that would blend in.

– Helping a home improve its energy efficiency is also a great idea for a householder, because not only does it cut down on the electricity and gas bills, it is a great thing to do for the environment. Improvement in the insulation of the home can be a long-term blessing. Investing on a home so that it at least partially harvests solar energy could be another way of improving the home for posterity.

It is obvious that home improvement projects should not be carried out on a whim. It is essential to evaluate why a specific home improvement project is required, and what would be gained from the investment. While home improvements that involve repair increase the comfort in the home and its longevity and are therefore essential, all other sorts of home improvement need to be carefully evaluated before embarking on them.

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